THE VOICE

Spotlight on: The Great Depresh

For the films screened at the Vinfen Film Festival, the credits rolling and the lights coming up didn’t signify the end--in fact, in many ways, the true impact of the film was just beginning.

Following each film, Vinfen staffers acted as facilitators for insightful discussion panels that brought together filmmakers, people with lived experience, and clinicians to further explore the themes and topics depicted onscreen.

The panel discussion for The Great Depresh—comedian Gary Gulman’s HBO standup special that delves into his diagnosis with depression and how it changed his life—was moderated by Vinfen Chief Medical Officer Dr. Peggy Johnson, and brought together Gulman, Vinfen’s Senior Director of Recovery Services Adam Whitney, and Eric Bell, a member of Vinfen’s Webster House clubhouse program in Roslindale for individuals with mental health conditions. All three men live with depression, and they spoke openly about their personal experiences with those in attendance.

PEGGY: The film really explores depression and what it’s like to live with it from every angle—there are scenes of resilience and strength, and despair and sadness. What would you want our community to know about living with depression that they may not have gathered from watching the film?

ADAM: I think what I would want to express is that what you’re saying about strength and resilience and despair and sadness… is that they’re often all the same thing at the same time. All of that is ALWAYS there throughout depression. As such, I would want people to know that a person with depression is trying their hardest, and that unconditional support is really so important.

ERIC: The really important thing I’d want people to know about living with depression is that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s really just too big to deal with all on your own, even though it can be really hard to ask for—and to accept—help.

 PEGGY: Define recovery.

ERIC: It’s an everyday thing. It’s not something that you get to complete, and then you don’t have to do it anymore.

ADAM: I’ve never been sure whether recovery is the journey or the destination, you know? But what I HOPE is that it’s a process of getting to a point where it’s NOT every single day.

GARY: There’s a confidence that starts to come after a period of recovery. For me, recovery means that I can make plans again. It means that I know I’ll feel well enough to do something fun weeks from now or have the confidence to accept offers and projects. For a long time, I wasn’t well enough to do that.

PEGGY: Every person has to make the decision to engage or not to engage in treatment. How have you chosen to approach treatment and the role it has in your life?

ADAM: In my case, the decision to engage took a long time: I didn’t have the best first experience with therapy. When it eventually clicked was when I realized that the person providing the treatment matters so much more than the modality.

I remember sitting down in a therapist’s office, trying to mentally prepare myself to go through the whole story of my life AGAIN with someone new, and he stopped me by asking, “What do you need?”

GARY: Part of the human condition is that we don’t really feel comfortable being ourselves. Being able to trust your therapist is key. It’s not going to help you if you’re trying to impress them, or feeling like you need to hide something you don’t want to be judged for.

ERIC: Getting treatment can be so complicated. Health insurance issues… the availability of therapists. It can be really messy… and when you’re struggling, it’s hard to advocate for yourself.

It’s also easy to be in denial about therapy due to your own feelings of self-worth. “It’s not going to work, anyway. It isn’t gonna do any good. I’m not good enough to deserve help.”

PEGGY: What can families do to be more supportive of their loved ones in recovery?

ERIC: If you’re lucky enough to have anyone in your life with unconditional love for you, that’s pretty amazing. I’m the only person in my family to do psychotherapy, and that’s led some of my family members to adopt the position of, “We’re all fine, YOU’RE the one who needs help.” My family has no interest in speaking my truth, and they don’t realize how challenging that is for me.

ADAM: Dr. Pat Deegan once said that “Help isn’t help when it isn’t helpful.” If you’re supporting a person going through some dark and challenging things, I really think that means letting people try new approaches—a big part of being supportive is letting people have the space to figure out what helps them.

GARY: In recent years, I’ve met so many parents of teenage kids who come up to me and ask for help in figuring out how they can help their kids. And I always say to them, “You’re a blessing.” When I was a teenager, my parents’ approach was to try nothing, and then continue to do nothing.

I hate to sound glib, but the simple truth is that there has never been a better time than now to be mentally ill (laughs). And, by that, I mean that there’s never been less stigma, there’s never been more modes of treatment, and there’s never been so many people open to diagnosing it and supporting people with it. Today, parents are much more aware of their children’s feelings.

AUDIENCE QUESTION: I have depression/bipolar/anxiety, and watching the movie was very eye-opening, seeing other people who have it as hard as I do. I don’t get to actually talk much to other people who understand what it feels like.

GARY: You’re doing a really good job. I want you to know how strong you are to say things like this in front of a room full of people—what you’re doing makes other people feel brave.

ADAM: The more people talk about it, the less alone people feel.

AUDIENCE QUESTION: I think it’s very important to see a panel of highly sensitive, eloquent men—there are a lot of men like you out there, but they aren’t always heard from. What feedback would you offer to providers about working with men?

GARY: People get so caught up on what it means to be a man—a lot of men feel like they can’t be themselves if they are sensitive by nature. A therapist can be this person you can be yourself around—a path to find yourself.

Men are taught to “man up” about things—and that is, like, self-annihilation. It’s a performance that’s exhausting and detrimental to your health. I wish more men could feel that the brain is at least as deserving of attention once a week as your chubby gut and biceps at the gym.

(NOTE: Discussion panel quotes have been edited for length and clarity.)